Brat Lessons

I gave dat @ParkerSKat a brat lesson. It seemed like a good idea to let da entire innerwebs learn from my brattitude.

1. Every water glass must haz a cat face in it.
   
   
2. Cats must help Mom with the jigsaw puzzles. -- @NoHair Atall
3. Push da hoomans off da big bed when dey asleep.
4. Run across dem sleepy hoomans' bellies when da morning birds start chirping.
5. When you want someting rake ONE claw on da backs of da hoomans legs as dey walk by.
6. Idly bat the @sisfurcats' ears when we in da sunpuddle.
7. Give da sisfurcats love nips when dey sleeping.
8. Herd da hoomans toward da noms and nip da heels if dey goes da wrong way.
9. Whip your tail under da hoomans feets so dey step on it. YOWL and dey gives you noms.
10. *kneadkneadknead* da hoomans bellies in da morning. Best if you knead da bladder.
11. Wear a badass collar
    
    
12. Add cat fur to spice up everything da hoomans cook.
13. Weave around da hoomans legs and try to trip dem.
14. When hoomans leave credit card near da computer, buy cat toys.
15. Da kitteh's number one job is to make sure da hoomans don't type anyting but twitter.
16. Clean your plate - and everyone else's!
17. Cats must sing in the car.
    
18. If da hoomans won't wake up, nom whichever @sisfurcats is sleeping on dem!
19. From @Ryker_Tyker: THWACKOLOGY. Principle that all items not bolted down on counters are meant to be THWACKED TO THE GROUND
20. A shrimpie a day keepz dat V-E-T away.
21. Climb WAAAAY high and pull da hoomans' hairs as dey walk under.
    
    
22. Lie in the doorway and play tollbooth.
23. If the only tool you have is papers, all of life's problems tend to look like catnip.
24. Never do anything you wouldn't want to to explain to da V-E-T.
25. No outfit is complete wifout cat hair. -- from @samthewatcher
    
26. Hoomans has to learn to watch where dey sits or puts da feet. My tail is where it is.
27. It is easier to get forgiveness than to get permission.
28. From Your elected PM Jaya:
    

    You adds PM Lesson to list:
    
    NAP!

29. The cat is always watching and judging you.
    -- @georgiarealist

Dis page will be updated as I perfect my brattitude.